I had a dream that I hugged Beyonce and I cried. Now, I’m going to convince myself that it actually happened
Thank you to my step-aunt for posting pictures of her nasty-ass pregnant belly. I needed motivation to get offline and you did just that
44 days left until the Beyonce concert. I am almost done with my first year of college. My phone works now.
Today, I felt the urge to be a cyber bully. That’s right, I fucked your mom. You fucking piece of trash. WHORE! Basic-ass hoe! I hope you feel offended and have to cry yourself to sleep. I mean that.
Coworker: Sabrina, why are you so upset?
Me: I woke up from my second nap and I was all sweaty.
Coworker: Second nap?
Nobody understands my struggles.
cornchipz: awkwardcontent: Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole. some people never develop beyond this stage
I did yoga in the sun and my lower back feels great. Now, I’m getting a lot done with my Cultural Anthropology paper. My lab is done. My homework is done. I think I want to go to the game room after this.
laughburnscalories: smilingemoticon: have you really accepted jesus christ into your life? name four of his albums
lordoftheinternet: you know what’s adorable? cat feet look at them aww little toes kitties
hydr3ig0n: “He’s not gay, he has a girlfriend”
bedquest: I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWn mouth softly because i like you
goddamnitobama: So last night my mum wouldn’t let me have any sweets because she said they were all for the trick or treaters so i put this mask on and went out the back door and went around to the front and said trick or treat and she didn’t recognize me and she said “since i don’t think we’ll be getting any more tonight you can the rest of this bag my daughter will have them otherwise” and...
A really embarrassing story: [[MORE]] I was studying with my friend and he invited this other guy from our class. I find this guy really attractive- so naturally, I had to sabotage myself, right? He gets there and I go to shift in my seat and the way that my big ole fat thunda thighs rubbed against the chair, sounded like the fart of all farts~~ OMG guys, I died. So much hate came into my...